28 years a father and I cannot recall how many times I have been puzzled by the agony a child might experience over something I find trivial…two kids fighting over who gets the bigger ‘half’ the cookie, for example.   I have always been quite dismissive of such contests.  Adults simply do not fight over who got more cream in their coffee.  But is that fair to the child?

29 years a husband and I regretfully do the same sort of thing to my wife.  There are a wide variety of things she finds crucially important that I am simply not that concerned over.  (no examples here since I intend to sign at the bottom)  And so again, I find myself dismissive and disinterested in the things that she is stressing over.  Such an attitude is actually harmful on many levels.

Doctors, lawyers and other professionals are trained, or train ourselves, to maintain an objective separation between ourselves and our clients.  This is done in the interest of professionalism, but it creates a level of impersonal service and sometimes callousness.

The lesson is this, whether a child, a spouse or a client, stress matters.  It’s not impersonal.  On the contrary, it is very personal.  What could be more personal?    Maybe some people can go through personal tragedy, bankruptcy,  loss of a home,  and remain unperturbed.  But these people are rare.

You may be facing enormous challenges.  It is important to me, that you understand, what I have learned.  What matters most, is what matters most to you.    In the final analysis, all things resolve…all things can and do workout.  But the stress of the challenge in getting there, in the weathering of the storm, is an intensely personal moment and at its apex, it is the most compelling thing in your life… and that matters.   It matters to you, and it matters to me.

Tony

 

This article is to be used as an educational guide only and should not be interpreted as a legal consultation. Readers of this article are advised to seek an attorney if a legal consultation is needed. Laws may vary by state and are subject to change, thus the accuracy of this information can not be guaranteed. Readers act on this information solely at their own risk. Neither the author, Law Office of Tony Fisichella , or any of its affiliates shall have any liability stemming from this article.